This desire to live in a different country, in a way, exists within many of us. Then, one day, opportunity knocks at the door, and you, without thinking too much or asking for an opinion, decide to jump on board and move to live in another country.
That was the decision made by Charlotte Brennecke, a teenager German in the United States.
The excitement and happiness after the decision to leave comes up like a whirlwind. Between communicating about the trip to those around her and the goodbye parties, hiking and a million other things that happen at the same time, that fear of everything, of the new, of the uncertain arises. But at the same time, that crazy desire to dive headlong into this adventure – soon she realizes that she will never be the same.
The week of the trip arrives, and she begins to feel something different. It is not sadness, as she is happy with the trip; it’s not insecurity, because she researched everything about the country, got organized and everything is in order; it’s not anxiety, because her days are so busy with the organization that there’s almost no time to be anxious. But that feeling is still there and will be present throughout the exchange. Sometimes intensely, sometimes not so much.
It was already on this side that she discovered that that good agony — sometimes disturbing — was Sehnsucht — German noun translated as longing, desire, or craving. She will miss what she hasn’t even left yet.
When she arrives here, especially in the first few days, with so much news, she misses family, friends, the dog and even that neighbor she bumped into every day on the way to school.
Soon she makes new friends: friends who speak the same language, others who speak a language she barely understands. And it, the Sehnsucht, calms down. But when she least expects it, it comes back to remind her of the flavors, smells, taste of your mother’s food, that soft lay roll that she won’t even dream of seeing around here. Pretzels and the variety of breads she has in her country.
But this crazy longing for all of this makes her discover Whataburger, Popeyes and other stuff that allows you to get closer to the flavors that were left behind. But that’s how she also discovered new flavors. She becomes a fan of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for breakfast. And that way, once again, Sehnsucht is giving way to new discoveries, without her realizing it.
On days when the Texas sun burns your skin, when the sweat doesn’t stop sweating, Sehnsucht comes back to bite you. Then comes that crazy desire for cold days, with snowflakes falling on your head… how great would that be!
The fact is that Sehnsucht is present all the time when she is no longer at home. Whether in happy moments or in sad ones, it will always find a way not to go unnoticed. But, what she has also learned in this whole process and about this partner who shows up every now and then is that Sehnsucht is a good feeling.